Our Approach to Parenting
- Fostering Independence: We believe children become truly independent when they first experience themselves as capable, respected individuals. Drawing from Montessori, RIE and Positive Discipline, we aim to provide a prepared environment that supports freedom within clear, consistent boundaries: an environment that communicates "You can do this.". Independence isn't forced; it's cultivated through trust in the child's intrinsic motivation, ample opportunities for mastery, and an adult presence that guides without overstepping, all based on careful observation and individualized course-correction to respect the child's development. In this approach, willfulness is not a flaw to be corrected, but an early expression of volition, agency, and selfhood—a spark we want to nurture, not extinguish. (And anyway, between Arthur's and Brit's genetics, Dax is likely to be quite willful regardless, so why fight nature?)
- Inherent Goodness: Our parenting rests on the conviction—echoed across RIE, Attachment Parenting, Positive Discipline, Nonviolent Communication, and Brené Brown's works—that people (and especially children) are basically good, curious, and wired for connection. They do not manipulate; they communicate. Their behaviors are expressions of needs, not moral failings. If anything, it's the behaviors that are bad, unhelpful, maladaptive, or undesirable—but the child is never bad. Approaching our child with fundamental trust allows us to respond with clarity and compassion, rather than fear or shame. Our job is to help Dax stay rooted in the truth of his inherent goodness, even when he struggles.
- Discipline is a Noun (not a Verb): Linguistic technicalities aside, our view is that discipline is not punishment or a thing you do to a child, attempting to compel desirable behavior (or discourage undesirable behavior), but something you help a child to develop and cultivate for and in themselves through effective guidance and relationship-building.
- Integration of Intellect, Body, and Spirit: We want Dax to develop as a whole human: thinking clearly, feeling deeply, and moving confidently in his body. Montessori emphasizes the unity of mind and movement; RIE encourages uninterrupted exploration and authentic expression; and many other schools of thought highlight the integration of emotional and logical systems. For us, that integration is deeply philosophical: the alignment of reason, emotion, and purposeful action through a capable, strong body. We want Dax to experience his mind and body not as competing domains, but as harmonious, interconnected tools for navigating and experiencing the world. This holistic development supports not just competence, but joy, presence, and a grounded sense of self.
- The Value of the Great Outdoors: Nature offers something no traditional classroom can replicate: a vast, unstructured world that invites curiosity, resilience, and awe. For a child growing up in Colorado, the outdoors becomes both playground and teacher. From a Montessori perspective, nature supports independence, concentration, and sensory refinement; from an attachment perspective, shared adventures strengthen connection; and from a philosophical perspective, nature fosters agency, competence, and reverence for reality. We want Dax to hike, build, dig, climb, and wander (okay, and hopefully to also ski or snowboard!)—to feel the rhythms of seasons, the texture of earth, and the confidence that comes from engaging with the real world directly.
Books on Our Shelf
The following are some of the parenting books that have been especially helpful, informative, and formative for us as we have developed our intended parenting philosophy.
Montessori from the Start
Paula Polk Lillard & Lynn Lillard Jessen
Your Self-Confident Baby
Magda Gerber & Alison Gopnik
The Baby Book
William Sears & Martha Sears
Positive Discipline: The First Three Years
Jane Nelsen & Cheryl Erwin
The Whole-Brain Child
Daniel J Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
Mindset
Carol S Dweck